I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

Not gonna lie – I fucking love it and want to buy it and frame it and stare at it longingly. Until then, here’s David Caruso doing what he does so well – overacting.

Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas in two hours of B-movie brilliance.

This is a list of films that had, in some way, an influence on Neil Marshall when writing and directing his 2008 homage to post-apocalyptic science fiction films, Doomsday. Whether or not he was aware of it is anyone’s guess:

28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
Land of the Dead
Judge Dredd
Waterworld
Alien vs Predator
Gladiator
Resident Evil
Dog Soldiers

Only two of the aforementioned films are included in Marshall’s own list of influences. On this subject Marshall had this to say: “Right from the start, I wanted my film to be a homage to these sorts of movies, and deliberately so. I wanted to make a movie for a new generation of audience that hadn’t seen those movies in the cinema—hadn’t seen them at all maybe—and to give them the same thrill that I got from watching them. But kind of contemporize it, pump up the action and the blood and guts.”²

So clearly Marshall intended this film to lack anything that resembles originality. This is fine by me; originality is not a requisite for a good film and I laud his honesty in stating outright what his intentions are. However, while depicting influence in your own films is never a bad thing, it certainly doesn’t do you any favors when roughly 80% of the film, a statistic I did not just pull out of my ass, is comprised of specific and easily identifiable elements from a wide range of other films.

The plot is generic and, as was noted above, a hodgepodge of other films far superior. Roughly thirty years after a virus ravaged much of Scotland resulting in it being walled off and abandoned, the virus has returned. Thanks to high-tech surveillance, living humans have been found within the walls and it’s up to Major Eden Sinclair and her ragbag team of elite commandos to go behind the walls and find the cure before the virus spreads among the population of London and decimates the city. Hilarity in the form of over-the-top acting and Rhona Mitra’s lack of emotion ensue.

The beginning of the film called to mind both Resident Evil and 28 Days Later in terms of not only style but substance, and given both this and the words out of Marshall’s own mouth, it’s clear he was trying to not only pay homage to classic apocalyptic films, but the newer ones as well. Later on we’re treated to Waterworld and Gladiator, 2008 Edition. Unfortunately, the myriad of influences did little draw my interest, as the film is incredibly disjointed, and manages to shift gears so suddenly and at such inopportune times, that one wonders whether or not it’s actually Neil Marshall behind the lens. It starts off headed in one direction and at one point manages to find a way to become the newest incarnation of The Fast and the Furious, though thankfully without Paul Walker around to fuck anything up; we have Rhona Mitra to do that for us.

He also has said that, “I do think it’s going to divide audiences… I just want them to be thrilled and enthralled. I want them to be overwhelmed by the imagery they’ve seen. And go back and see it again.”¹ Unfortunately – and I say this with a heavy heart, as Dog Soldiers and The Descent are two of my favorite films – I was underwhelmed and have absolutely no desire to see this film again.

Of course, it wasn’t all bad, as Marshall has a masterful eye for gore and manages to do a few things that were both innovative and downright hysterical, the latter of which culminating in a decapitated head flying right into the camera with a brilliant look on its face. Spoon from Dog Soldiers was in it, and I thought he was the best part of the film after MyAnna Buring, who’s just cute as a button. In the end, however, the movie was stale, relatively annoying, and a severely disappointing outing for a director who has come to be known as one of the best in the horror business today.

^{1 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/doomsday/news/1726180/neil_marshalls_10_post_apocalyptic_picks
2 http://articles.latimes.com/2008/mar/13/entertainment/et-doomsday13}

There was a pun in there, and it was brilliant.

The remake will no doubt be an excuse to showcase their “talents,” as it were, and do little to foster the idea that Hollywood isn’t run by a psychopathic group of unoriginal malcontents.

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I know nothing of this film save for the synopsis, which is thankfully emblazoned right on that there picture <——, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited for it. It looks to be free of Hollywood wankery and the effort of someone who actually cares enough to make a decent flick. According to producer Barak Epstein, the movie will “have some crazy alien gore.” As opposed to relatively tame alien gore?

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Quiet Earth reports that Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company Apian Way will be remaking The Neverneding Story. That sound you hear? That’s my childhood dying a slow, painful death.

Fun fact: the Appian Way of Rome is well-known for hosting the lovely crucufixion of 6,000 slaves after the failed revolt of 10,000+ slaves led by Spartacus. The bodies were left up for years, proving that once and for all Rome was a very smelly place to live in 70 BC and an appropriate moniker for DiCaprio’s apparently soul-crushing and childhood-destroyig vehicle fo cinematic pain.

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Finally, on a more upbeat note, if you head on over to ilovehorror.net you’ll get a sneak preview at what will soon become the new home for I Love Horror. The design, as you can see, is basically the same thing as what I have now, but as time progresses and I start to make sense of CSS, it will begin to take shape into something so epic you’ll crap your fucking pants. Until then, keep coming here and inflating my ego until I give the go ahead. Special thanks go out to Peter Hall of Horror’s Not Dead for all his help.

Many thanks.

The viewing ended up degrading into an episode of MST3K, as three women without an appreciation for horror or what I feel is one of the few relatively decent monster flicks to come out of anywhere peppered the screen with insults and called me a variety of names that weren’t my own for suggesting such a film. Like Brandon. Fuck Brandon. Of course, one of their biggest gripes was the cinema verite aspect, which, although cheesy, can be fairly effective; I may be the only asshole out there who actually thought The Blair Witch Project was brilliant. The recent success of [REC] and its bastard doppelganger Quarantine has assured the horror community an influx of these films.

But I digress.

No I don’t. I really don’t have much else to say other than that I actually like Cloverfield and think we need more tried and true monster films. The Host springs to mind, and naturally it’s being remade and probably starring Dakota Fanning. Japan has a monster film coming our way relatively soon called Chohatsu Daikaiju Gehara which roughly translates into the less than marketable but much funnier Long-haired Giant Monster Gehara, leaving you with no delusions as to what the is actually about. A batch of promotional and behind-the-scenes stills courtesy of Dread Central make the titular hirsute monster look like the younger and less popular brother of Godzilla, which is anything but surprising to me. One still, however, makes ol’ hairy pants look positively creepy. Here, have a look.

Kinda cool, huh?

Are there any really good monster movies – specifically recent monster movies – that you think I should take a look at? I’m jonesin’ for some rampagin’ through cities and perhaps poorly dubbed dialogue.

Oh, nothing to do in between jobs tomorrow, so hopefully a review or more substantial update will make its way from my worn out mind to your computer screen. Revamp also coming soon. Possibly with kittens.

What kind of whacky things, you ask? Well, how ’bout a podcast? Yes, as if reading my incessant and nonsensical ramblings wasn’t enough, now you might get the opportunity to listen to me should I ever get off my ass and begin researching how to exactly start a podcast. If you’re interested in participating, sharing advice, telling me I have a face for radio, by all means, please do.

I have also begun working on a book analyzing the world of horror in the past decade or so. It will surely garner me critical acclaim.

Many thanks to all the members of the Lott D. I’m elated – and honored – to be aboard.

As an aside, Red Bubble is offering this nifty shirt, presumably honoring the upcoming release of Zach Snyder’s Watchmen, which will sadly suck. A lot.

Tor has introduced me to the art of Adam McCauley, who won a silver medal at the Society of Illustrator’s annual exhibit. Hilarity within.

All that unnecessary lead in notwithstanding, the video below contains the final song from Dog Fashion Disco’s climactic final album Adultery. Their instrumentals and orchestration, both bombastic and incredibly creepy, belong in a horror film.

The trailer for [REC]2 is popping up everywhere. What’s one more to inform people of the successor to one of the best horror films in horror memory?