I LOVE HORROR HAS MOVED!

Posted in News with tags on March 14, 2009 by Brad

ilh

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

I Love Horror dot net

Session 9 goodies

Posted in humor with tags , , on March 9, 2009 by Brad

In doing some searching for nifty backgrounds to spruce up me bloggity blog, I discovered a post from AICN from almost 9 years ago that featured a one sheet for what was an upcoming psychological thriller by Brad Anderson.

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Not gonna lie – I fucking love it and want to buy it and frame it and stare at it longingly. Until then, here’s David Caruso doing what he does so well – overacting.

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Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus

Posted in humor, Trailers / Up and coming with tags , on March 9, 2009 by Brad

I fail to see how this movie can’t be amazing.

Debbie Gibson and Lorenzo Lamas in two hours of B-movie brilliance.

megasharkvsgiantoctopus

Review: Doomsday

Posted in Reviews with tags , , on March 9, 2009 by Brad

U_1Sheet

Director: Neil Marshall
Year: 2008
Country: UK

This is a list of films that had, in some way, an influence on Neil Marshall when writing and directing his 2008 homage to post-apocalyptic science fiction films, Doomsday. Whether or not he was aware of it is anyone’s guess:

28 Days Later
28 Weeks Later
Land of the Dead
Judge Dredd
Waterworld
Alien vs Predator
Gladiator
Resident Evil
Dog Soldiers

Only two of the aforementioned films are included in Marshall’s own list of influences. On this subject Marshall had this to say: “Right from the start, I wanted my film to be a homage to these sorts of movies, and deliberately so. I wanted to make a movie for a new generation of audience that hadn’t seen those movies in the cinema—hadn’t seen them at all maybe—and to give them the same thrill that I got from watching them. But kind of contemporize it, pump up the action and the blood and guts.”2

So clearly Marshall intended this film to lack anything that resembles originality. This is fine by me; originality is not a requisite for a good film and I laud his honesty in stating outright what his intentions are. However, while depicting influence in your own films is never a bad thing, it certainly doesn’t do you any favors when roughly 80% of the film, a statistic I did not just pull out of my ass, is comprised of specific and easily identifiable elements from a wide range of other films.

The plot is generic and, as was noted above, a hodgepodge of other films far superior. Roughly thirty years after a virus ravaged much of Scotland resulting in it being walled off and abandoned, the virus has returned. Thanks to high-tech surveillance, living humans have been found within the walls and it’s up to Major Eden Sinclair and her ragbag team of elite commandos to go behind the walls and find the cure before the virus spreads among the population of London and decimates the city. Hilarity in the form of over-the-top acting and Rhona Mitra’s lack of emotion ensue.

The beginning of the film called to mind both Resident Evil and 28 Days Later in terms of not only style but substance, and given both this and the words out of Marshall’s own mouth, it’s clear he was trying to not only pay homage to classic apocalyptic films, but the newer ones as well. Later on we’re treated to Waterworld and Gladiator, 2008 Edition. Unfortunately, the myriad of influences did little draw my interest, as the film is incredibly disjointed, and manages to shift gears so suddenly and at such inopportune times, that one wonders whether or not it’s actually Neil Marshall behind the lens. It starts off headed in one direction and at one point manages to find a way to become the newest incarnation of The Fast and the Furious, though thankfully without Paul Walker around to fuck anything up; we have Rhona Mitra to do that for us.

He also has said that, “I do think it’s going to divide audiences… I just want them to be thrilled and enthralled. I want them to be overwhelmed by the imagery they’ve seen. And go back and see it again.”1 Unfortunately – and I say this with a heavy heart, as Dog Soldiers and The Descent are two of my favorite films – I was underwhelmed and have absolutely no desire to see this film again.

Of course, it wasn’t all bad, as Marshall has a masterful eye for gore and manages to do a few things that were both innovative and downright hysterical, the latter of which culminating in a decapitated head flying right into the camera with a brilliant look on its face. Spoon from Dog Soldiers was in it, and I thought he was the best part of the film after MyAnna Buring, who’s just cute as a button. In the end, however, the movie was stale, relatively annoying, and a severely disappointing outing for a director who has come to be known as one of the best in the horror business today.

1 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/doomsday/news/1726180/neil_marshalls_10_post_apocalyptic_picks
2 http://articles.latimes.com/2008/mar/13/entertainment/et-doomsday13

My stomach hurts

Posted in humor, News, Rant, Trailers / Up and coming on March 7, 2009 by Brad

Amber “Mandy Lane” Heard and Odette “Holy Fuck it’s a good thing I’m hot ’cause I’m a shitty actress” Yustman will be playing the leads in a remake of the 1970 British thriller And Soon the Darkness. Aside from essentially being a death sentence for the film, the original of which I have never seen nor heard of, this casting choice makes me wonder if people have actually seen Yustman’s prior performances in horror movies and are just casting her because she looks great when wearing the bare minimum of clothing. Amber Heard isn’t too bad. She was kinda decent in Pineapple Express, yet only moderately likable in Mandy Lane.

There was a pun in there, and it was brilliant.

The remake will no doubt be an excuse to showcase their “talents,” as it were, and do little to foster the idea that Hollywood isn’t run by a psychopathic group of unoriginal malcontents.

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earthling_press_releasev4I know nothing of this film save for the synopsis, which is thankfully emblazoned right on that there picture <——, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little excited for it. It looks to be free of Hollywood wankery and the effort of someone who actually cares enough to make a decent flick. According to producer Barak Epstein, the movie will “have some crazy alien gore.” As opposed to relatively tame alien gore?

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Quiet Earth reports that Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company Apian Way will be remaking The Neverneding Story. That sound you hear? That’s my childhood dying a slow, painful death.

Fun fact: the Appian Way of Rome is well-known for hosting the lovely crucufixion of 6,000 slaves after the failed revolt of 10,000+ slaves led by Spartacus. The bodies were left up for years, proving that once and for all Rome was a very smelly place to live in 70 BC and an appropriate moniker for DiCaprio’s apparently soul-crushing and childhood-destroyig vehicle fo cinematic pain.

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Finally, on a more upbeat note, if you head on over to ilovehorror.net you’ll get a sneak preview at what will soon become the new home for I Love Horror. The design, as you can see, is basically the same thing as what I have now, but as time progresses and I start to make sense of CSS, it will begin to take shape into something so epic you’ll crap your fucking pants. Until then, keep coming here and inflating my ego until I give the go ahead. Special thanks go out to Peter Hall of Horror’s Not Dead for all his help.

WordPress

Posted in Uncategorized on March 5, 2009 by Brad

So today I purchased some web space and a domain; the domain is mostly irrelevant, as I simply wanted the hosting space. I, however, am an idiot, as I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. With the help of a friend, I managed to import my current blog to the new domain/dashboard, but beyond that, I have no idea what to do. Is there anyone out there who has done the same thing I just did, but had enough foresight to, you know, read up on what the fuck to do? I’m using WordPress 2.7.1 and Bluehost as my hosting service.

Many thanks.

The word of the day is ‘hirsute’

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Brad

Having not seen a snowfall in eighteen years (give or take), my time spent in Dacula/Buford, Georgia over the weekend made the ten plus hours round trip drive worth it, despite the raging migraine and sore lower back on the drive home. While there, I took advantage of Blockbuster Video’s 4 for $20 DVD deal and snagged The Ruins, The Orphanage, Doomsday, and Cloverfield, the latter of which was the only agreed upon film to view by my sister, her hopped-up-on-drugs-after-surgery roommate, and incredibly attractive yet incredibly bitchy friend.

The viewing ended up degrading into an episode of MST3K, as three women without an appreciation for horror or what I feel is one of the few relatively decent monster flicks to come out of anywhere peppered the screen with insults and called me a variety of names that weren’t my own for suggesting such a film. Like Brandon. Fuck Brandon. Of course, one of their biggest gripes was the cinema verite aspect, which, although cheesy, can be fairly effective; I may be the only asshole out there who actually thought The Blair Witch Project was brilliant. The recent success of [REC] and its bastard doppelganger Quarantine has assured the horror community an influx of these films.

But I digress.

No I don’t. I really don’t have much else to say other than that I actually like Cloverfield and think we need more tried and true monster films. The Host springs to mind, and naturally it’s being remade and probably starring Dakota Fanning. Japan has a monster film coming our way relatively soon called Chohatsu Daikaiju Gehara which roughly translates into the less than marketable but much funnier Long-haired Giant Monster Gehara, leaving you with no delusions as to what the is actually about. A batch of promotional and behind-the-scenes stills courtesy of Dread Central make the titular hirsute monster look like the younger and less popular brother of Godzilla, which is anything but surprising to me. One still, however, makes ol’ hairy pants look positively creepy. Here, have a look.

gehara18

Kinda cool, huh?

Are there any really good monster movies – specifically recent monster movies – that you think I should take a look at? I’m jonesin’ for some rampagin’ through cities and perhaps poorly dubbed dialogue.

Oh, nothing to do in between jobs tomorrow, so hopefully a review or more substantial update will make its way from my worn out mind to your computer screen. Revamp also coming soon. Possibly with kittens.

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